Saturday, April 30, 2005

Right Jab in 04





In the brutal round of 04 Johnnie 'Lefty' Lurch is dealt a crushing blow by the underdog George 'Cowboy' Shrub. Johnnie, the crowd favorite, seemed to have had the fight in hand in the early rounds using his ever-perfected 'dancin duck' defense with an occasional left hook to ward off the patient and probing attack of The Shrub's classic old-school right jab technique.

Johnnie's undoing came late in the round when a frenzied crowd began chanting 'hook em hook em' in reference to 'Lefty' Lurch's infamous left hook as well as a subtle dig to George's Texas roots. They weren't going to except a decision; they wanted Shrub on the canvas.

Yet it may have been the crowd that cost Lurch the fight. At one point an unruly fan attempted to enter the ring and remove Shrub's boxing trousers while screaming 'but there's doody in there, I can smell it.. you may not see it but it's true'. Eventually members of the crowd removed the unruly person. He could be heard repeating, in a voice reminiscent of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of OZ, the words 'Courage Courage'. The meaning is unknown but the man was removed without further incident.

Earlier in the bout, between rounds, a cameraman climbed onto the ring apron and mooned Shrub as he sat in his corner. It was later learned that he was suffering delusions of grandeur. He basically thought he was the world's greatest filmaker charged with the duty of altering this historic event. No charges were filed.

It was during the removal of the 'Doody' man that Johnnie lost his focus. Playing loose and out of his normal practiced style he began to taunt his opponent. He shuffled and mugged to the crowd. It was at this point that the 'Cowboy', with both feet firmly planted, unloaded a swift flurry of right jabs. Lurch continued as if no harm had been done, still playing to the crowd. A few moments later he began to wobble and then suddenly fell to the canvas. A collective gasp followed by a stunned silence filled the arena.

After the bout Lurch was shown the photo above and asked what he was thinking at this point with the dreams of a sure win dashed to the canvas. He responded, "well at that point I couldn't believe his jabs had that much power and ... well I just couldn't believe it... still don't believe it. We are appealing to the judges at this moment so don't count me out just yet. But you know I just remember sitting there stunned, actually the moment is seared into my memory, but I still had a clarity about me, an urgent calling to plan my next strategy, as you can clearly see I am doing in the picture."

Friday, April 29, 2005

Moore Wisdom

I usually find Michael Moore's views sophomoric. It's like he is permanently stuck at 17. However, I have found this little gem which shows he can be quite astute.

  1. John Kerry...............D-Massachusetts....$163,626,399
  2. Herb Kohl................D-Wisconsin...........$111,015,016
  3. John Rockefeller.......D-West Virginia.....$ 81,648,018
  4. Jon Corzine...............D-New Jersey........$ 71,035,025
  5. Dianne Feinstein.......D-California...........$ 26,377,109
  6. Peter Fitzgerald.........R-Illinois...............$ 26,132,013
  7. Frank Lautenberg......D-New Jersey........$ 17,789,018
  8. Bill Frist....................R-Tennessee..........$ 15,108,042
  9. John Edwards...........D-North Carolina...$ 12,844,029
  10. Edward Kennedy.......D-Massachusetts....$ 9,905,009


Hummm..... I thought the Republicans were 'the party of the rich'.